Posts Tagged "behavior"
In the last chapter, the author laid out 6 shaping influences which impact our children, but he was quick to point out that it is not shaping influences alone which determine the types of people our kids will grow up to be. Mr. Tripp explains that regardless of the shaping influences in a child’s life, it is his Godward orientation that determines how he will react to those influences.
Mr. Tripp points to Proverbs 9:7-10 for guidance. Here is that verse from the English Standard Version:
7 Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse,
and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.
8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.
Tripp makes the observation that, “It is the fear of the Lord that makes one wise and it is wisdom that determines how he responds to correction.”
This chapter deals with the shaping influences in a child’s life. Mr. Tripp defines shaping influences as,
“those events and circumstances in a child’s developmental years that prove to be catalysts for making him the person he is.”
Mr. Tripp explains that the person our child becomes is ultimately the product of two things:
1. His Life Experiences; and
2. How the child interacts with those experiences
Our children’s interactions with their shaping influences is dealt with in Chapter 3 of the book, and we will deal with that in the next installment. Mr. Tripp identifies six shaping influences in our children’s lives. He points out that most of these are “both within and outside parental control:”
1. Structure of Family Life
How is the family set up? Is it traditional? How many parents in the home? How many generations? How many kids in the family? What is their birth order? All of these impact our view of life when we get older.Read More
We continue our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” with a look at the first chapter titled “Getting to the Heart of Behavior.” This chapter starts out with a reminder of what Proverbs 4:23 declares to be the truth of God:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”
That Proverb becomes the basis for Chapter 1 and the rest of the book. In Tedd Tripp’s words, “The scripture teaches that the heart is the control center for life.”
So, what does this have to do with parenting? Tripp explains that our kids’ actions, everything they do and say, reflcts what is in their hearts. In other words, behavior is not the end all and be all when it comes to parenting. The fundamental issue to parenting, if we really want to help our kids, is what is going on in the heart.
I personally found the following excerpt from Chapter 1 very convicting:
“A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in the heart is not commendable; it is condemnable. Is it not the hypocrisy that Jesus condemned in the Pharisees? In Matthew 15, Jesus denounces the Pharisees who have honored him with their lips while their hearts were far from him. Jesus censures them as people who wash the outside of the cup while the inside is still unclean. Yet this is often what we do in child rearing. We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.”