Posts Tagged "Parenting"

Why Yelling Doesn’t Work

I love being a Dad.  I really do!  That said, I am not the perfect parent.  I would like to be.  If I am being honest, I would like people to think I am.  I truly desire to be the perfect Dad, but I know that I am not.  There is only one perfect Father and He created us all.  Like everyone else, I get tired.  I get irritated.  I lose my patience.  I react when I should teach.  I punish when I should hug.  I ignore when I should deal, and I end up apologizing to my kids for my reactions far more than I would like to.  All that to say, this post is as much, if not more, for me than for anyone else.  Everywhere I write “you,” I read “I.”

SO, LET’S TALK ABOUT YELLING!  I think most parents yell at their kids – whether they are willing to admit it or not.  I also think that we, as parents, are very good at coming up with reasons and excuses for why we do yell at our kids.  The point of this article is not to discuss whether or not you should yell at your kids or the long-term impact that yelling may have on their lives.  No, this article is address yelling at a much more practical level than that.  My contention here is that we shouldn’t yell at our kids simply because:

YELLING DOES NOT WORK!

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Surviving and Thriving as a Parent During the Teenage Years

The following post was written by Reggie Joiner.  Reggie is the brainchild behind the Think Orange movement and has published numerous books on the Orange concept – that parents and the church working together can accomplish more by their combined influence than either working individually. Reggie is a champion of kids both in Children’s Ministry and as a dad.  He is a father who, like all of us, has been through the trials of trying of to figure out how God wants us to raise our kids, and he is willing to share what he has learned.  That is exactly what Dad in the Middle has always been about, and we’re grateful that Reggie agreed to write this article to be published in our little corner of the internet.  As the father of one teenager, and three more in waiting, I am personally grateful for his insights.  Reggie writes more at http://orangeparents.org and http://orangeleaders.com and you can follow him on Twitter at http://twitter.com/reggiejoiner.


Time flies fast from elementary to college age, so get ready to change your parenting habits. Every child seems to move in warp speed toward the teenage years.

I was caught by surprise when a new declaration of personal independence was automatically assumed the day my son got his driver’s license. It was as though I represented an oppressive and extremely unfair regime whenever I tried to enforce any rule. (Whenever I said no to one of my teenage daughters, she would go to her bedroom, close the door and play Britney Spears’ “Overprotected” over and over again for over an hour, loud enough for me and the whole house to hear.) I have to admit, it was difficult for me to transition from parenting children to parenting teenagers. I had worked with teenagers all of my life, but I had never actually had any living in my home. I am still a recovering parent of teens, but here are a few things I have recognized about this chapter of parenting:

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Carrying Heavy Stuff (Children’s Ministry Moment #11)

Childrens_Ministry_Moments

To me, one of the fun things about teaching large group is asking kids questions.  First of all, you get immediate feedback on whether or not what you are doing is working.  Secondly, you get to engage the kids.  However, I think the thing I like best is that you never know exactly what they are going to say.  It really keeps you on your toes.

This week, we were talking about Nehemiah and the providence and protection of God.  After laying out how God had worked through Nehemiah to do the impossible (rebuild the wall of Jerusalem in 52 days), I asked the kids what in their lives seemed like something impossible that God could help them with.

One little kindergarten aged girl raised her hand and said:

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Repost: 8 Reasons to Get Involved in Children’s Ministry from Psalm 78

In Psalm 78 we read:

1 Give ear, O my people, to my teaching;
incline your ears to the words of my mouth!
2 I will open my mouth in a parable;
I will utter dark sayings from of old,
3 things that we have heard and known,
that our fathers have told us.

4 We will not hide them from their children,
but tell to the coming generation
the glorious deeds of the Lord, and his might,
and the wonders that he has done.
5 He established a testimony in Jacob
and appointed a law in Israel,
which he commanded our fathers
to teach to their children,
6 that the next generation might know them,
the children yet unborn,
and arise and tell them to their children,
7 so that they should set their hope in God
and not forget the works of God,
but keep his commandments;
8 and that they should not be like their fathers,
a stubborn and rebellious generation,
a generation whose heart was not steadfast,
whose spirit was not faithful to God. [Psalms 78:1-8 ESV]

The first eight verses of Psalm 78 highlight the importance of passing God’s Word and the memory of His grace on from generation to generation.  While the principal place for this work is within the family structure, as made clear elsewhere in the Old Testament, modern Children’s Ministry also plays a part in the process.  A close exposition of this Psalm reveals the importance of such an exercise:

1. Children’s Ministry is of the Utmost Importance

The Psalmist calls attention to what he is about to say with the words, “Give ear, O my people, to my teaching; incline your ears to the words of my mouth!”  Charles Spurgeon explains the import of this introductory phrase,

“When God gives his truth a tongue, and sends forth his messengers trained to declare his word with power, it is the least we can do to give them our ears and the earnest obedience of our hearts. Shall God speak, and his children refuse to hear? His teaching has the force of law, let us yield both ear and heart to it.”

In many churches today, Children’s Ministry is an afterthought.  Volunteers are hard to come by, and funds are not directed to Children’s Ministry.  In many churches, not all by any means, the importance of passing biblical truth to children in overlooked in favor of a mere babysitting service.

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10 Things I Love About Being A Dad

It’s time for a simple post.  Simple to read, and more importantly simple to write.  God has blessed me abundantly in my life.  One area is as a Dad.  I love being a Dad.  It is frustrating at times, and there are moments when I wonder whether I am really cut out for it, but when push comes to shove, I really like being a Dad.  The hardest part of this post was limiting the list to just ten items.  Here’s my list:

  1. Hugs and kisses after a long day at work, or before bedtime, or just because.
  2. The cute things they say that make you smile from ear to ear.
  3. When God speaks through them into my life.
  4. Hearing “I love you Daddy.”
  5. Seeing their face when they open that present that they really want.
  6. Having the opportunity to model God the father in their lives.
  7. Cuddling on the couch and watching a movie.
  8. Watching them grow and learn.
  9. Listening to their stories.
  10. Seeing the world through their eyes.

imageThanks to Joshua (17), Jacob (9), Lyndsey (7) and Nathan (3).  They are the inspiration for this post!  This picture is from a couple of years ago.  It’s amazing how hard it is to get pictures of all six of us together. 🙂

What would you add?  Leave a comment below.  Moms are welcome to comment too!

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