Posts Tagged "Love"

Why Yelling Doesn’t Work

I love being a Dad.  I really do!  That said, I am not the perfect parent.  I would like to be.  If I am being honest, I would like people to think I am.  I truly desire to be the perfect Dad, but I know that I am not.  There is only one perfect Father and He created us all.  Like everyone else, I get tired.  I get irritated.  I lose my patience.  I react when I should teach.  I punish when I should hug.  I ignore when I should deal, and I end up apologizing to my kids for my reactions far more than I would like to.  All that to say, this post is as much, if not more, for me than for anyone else.  Everywhere I write “you,” I read “I.”

SO, LET’S TALK ABOUT YELLING!  I think most parents yell at their kids – whether they are willing to admit it or not.  I also think that we, as parents, are very good at coming up with reasons and excuses for why we do yell at our kids.  The point of this article is not to discuss whether or not you should yell at your kids or the long-term impact that yelling may have on their lives.  No, this article is address yelling at a much more practical level than that.  My contention here is that we shouldn’t yell at our kids simply because:

YELLING DOES NOT WORK!

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I Guess It Was Time

elvis9 Nine years ago this past April, my son Jacob was born.  It’s hard to believe that it’s actually been that long.  As a young boy (somewhere around 2 or 3), Jacob developed a strong affinity for two things: horses and dogs.  Along with that, Jacob is a talker.  I don’t mean that in any sort of bad way, Jacob has just always been talkative.  Whether it was yelling at people who wouldn’t talk to him in the grocery store when he was 8 months old, or making new friends with the people in the booth next to us at a restaurant when he was 18 months, or inviting our waitress at Bob Evans to come to our house for Christmas morning when he was four, Jacob has always liked to talk.  My reply when people tell me that Jacob talks a lot is always that he started talking when he was eight months old, and he hasn’t stopped yet.  As a proud Dad, most of the time I like hearing him talk (most of the time:)).  One of my great joys in life is listening to him to talk to other people about God.

So, what you might ask does talking have to do with horses and dogs?  Well, for roughly seven years now, I have listened to Jacob talk about how much he loves them both.  His obsession with horses was pretty easy to take care of.  Our house has a couple of acres of land, but we don’t have the facilities to have a horse, and Jacob accepted that pretty early in life.   So, every summer, he heads off to horse camp to renew his love for horses and riding and to get his “horse fix.”  Even when all his little friends decided that riding horses was for girls, he still held out and explained to them all about the cowboys and how he plans to move to Texas when he gets older and be a cowboy himself.  Like I said, horses were easy.

But, dogs, those infernal dogs kept coming up.  Every Christmas – every birthday – every time someone walked by outside with a furry canine, I heard about dogs.  I don’t dislike dogs.  I actually quite like them.  I tell people that, “I like dogs – other people’s dogs – a lot!”  But, I also enjoyed the fact that, at the moment, we were blissfully pet free.  No messes to clean up, no food to buy, no odd noises in the middle night – well at least none of the four legged variety.  I have a wife, four kids, a ministry, a job and a pretty busy life.  I struggle to find quiet time as it is, and the last thing I need to throw into that mix is a dog.  I’ve never actually owned a dog either, and I wasn’t entirely sure that I ever wanted to.  We grew up with cats, and I had a number of cats as an adult.  Cats are easy.  Give them a bowl of food, and let them think they own the place, and you’re pretty well set.  Other than changing the litter box once a week and feeding them, cats are pretty much self-sufficient.  Dogs on the other hand, oy-vey!

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The Children's Ministry Blog Patrol (December 2009)

Childrens Ministry Blog Patrol

The NEW AND IMPROVED Children’s Ministry Blog Patrol seems to have been a success. I hope that you will find this month’s equally as useful. There are a lot of people out there dedicated to Children and Children’s Ministry publishing great and useful stuff on the internet. This is my attempt to try to compile some of the best of that information into one place for your perusal. As you might suspect, there were a lot, and I mean A LOT, of articles about Christmas this past month. I tried to limit the number in the Blog Patrol (seeing as how you won’t read it until January), but there were a couple I could not resist including.

CheckItOut

I’ve decided I like the “must read” feature, so I am going to stick with it for now. As I’ve said before, I think they’re all must-reads, but for the best-of-the best, I’ve added this little graphic to the right of the title. If you’re running low on time, make sure that you check out these articles at a minimum!

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New Year's Resolutions

Every year millions of people all around the world ring in the New Year with resolutions.  We vow to start doing this or stop doing that, and everything seems right with the world for about a week – maybe two.  Then, inevitably, something goes wrong with our resolutions and we revert back to our old habits and ways and give no more thought to our resolutions until next year roles around.  So this year, rather than make more resolutions, I thought I would offer up a New Year’s prayer.  Acknowledging that, in myself, I am not capable of keeping resolutions, but with God all things are possible, here are my resolutions/prayers for the coming year:

Dear God, please help me…

  • …to rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation and constant in prayer.
  • …to shine your light to a darkened world.
  • …to remember in all situations that I am your child.
  • …to serve you as an ambassador in this world.
  • …to recognize that I am chosen by you.
  • …to teach my children your word and about you that they may know all that you have done for me.
  • …to live every day to bring glory to your name.
  • …to model you to the kids you have entrusted to me both in my home and at church.
  • …to never lose sight of my spiritual journey with you.
  • …to make the time to spend with you each day in your Word and in prayer.
  • …to turn to you in times of trouble.
  • …to praise you in times of excess.
  • …to be the husband that you intended me to be to my wife.
  • …to teach your word in such a way that little ears would hear and little hearts would understand.
  • …to be bold in proclaiming you to others.
  • …to love you with all my heart, all my mind, all my strength and all my soul!
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Dad in the Middle – The Year in Review

In a couple of days, I intend to post on some New Year’s Resolutions and look forward to the coming year, but today I thought it made sense to look back at the past.  Specifically, I thought it might be interesting to look back at the past year of this blog.  As any of you who read these posts have probably surmised, I am a list person, and will get to some lists of best and most popular in a little bit.  Before we do that though, I want to take just a bit to reflect.

It has been an exciting year for me here at Dad in the Middle.  I started this blog back in the Summer of 2008 with a series on the Biblical Definition of Love.  Not many people read it back then – which was OK.  I mainly started the blog because I like to write out what I am studying, and I decided a blog might be an interesting way to do that and if a dozen people or so read it or got anything out those posts, that would have been fine!  I continued along that way for a while and even wrote about a few other things.  I took a couple of month break from writing anything at the beginning of the year, and the first post was not until February 21 when I posted I’m sorry…an open letter to my family and friends a combination of confession and testimony.  After another month of two or three posts, something happened towards the end of March.  I started to feel more and more called to try to use this blog more for the glory of God and less as my personal note taking site.

On March 29, I summarized an interesting Nightline Debate on the topic of “Is Satan Real?” After that, the posts became more and more frequent.  On April 7 I started The Blog Patrol which has morphed several times during the year and become a popular feature on the sight.  It is now a monthly feature called The Children’s Ministry Blog Patrol.  Over the course of the year, my focus has also shifted from general issues related to Christianity to a greater focus on issues related to Children’s Ministry.

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