Posts Tagged "Communication"
Here’s is some musical advice for husbands on listening to your wife! It seemed like an appropriate post as my tenth anniversary is coming up this Friday. Enjoy!
I hope that you’ve found our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” both thought provoking and useful. There is certainly a lot of useful information to be gleaned from the book. The following is my “cheat sheet” of things covered in the book:
4 Reasons our culture has lost its way in terms of parenting
- Many people in our day and age have children but don’t really want them. Children are viewed as a liability in a culture that has increasingly convinced people that the paramount goal in life should be their own personal fulfillment.
- The idea of quality time has replaced the idea of quantity time.
- It is no longer socially acceptable for Dad to be the authority in the home.
- Children see their parents refusing to submit to authority which results in their unwillingness to accept a submissive role in life.
7 Observations on Parental Authority
- You must not be embarrassed to be your child’s authority.
- Our authority as parents comes from being an agent of God.
- We should never direct our children for our own convenience, but rather on behalf of God for their good.
- The purpose of our authority is not to hold our kids under our power.
- Our goal is to empower our children to be self-controlled individuals living under God’s authority.
- As parents, we must require obedience from our children because God’s word calls for obedience and the honoring of parents.
- Based on Mr. Tripp’s experience, children don’t generally resist authority when that authority is kind and selfless as described above.
5 Observations on Shepherding Our Children
- As a shepherd, our goal is to help our children understand themselves as a creation of God and their role as being made “for God.”
- The job of a parent is to lead children on the path of discovery.
- Our job is to shepherd our children’s thoughts to help them learn discernment and wisdom.
- We do this with open and honest communication.
- The Heart is the Focus of Shepherding (“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” [Proverbs 4:23])
Ch. 10 – Embracing Biblical Methods: A Life of Communication – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)
Tripp begins this chapter with the following observation, “Communication not only disciplines, it also disciples.” Tripp reminds us of the call Deuteronomy 6 to talk to our kids at all time – lying down, walking, rising, sitting. Making communication with our children a habit during normal times makes it easier to talk to them under the strain of difficult situations.
Tripp observes that having biblical conversations with our kids is not a short process. It is a time-consuming, all-consuming pursuit. It requires patience, insight and flexibility. Any parent will understand that there are times when kids want to talk and times when they don’t. In those times when their hearts are open to talking to us, we must be prepared to drop everything to seize the moment. We must train our kids to communicate. This also involves training them how to listen. The most effective way to do this is to be an active listener ourselves. Tripp points to Proverbs 18:2 which says, “A fool takes no pleasure in understanding, but only in expressing his opinion.” We must listen as parents before we can be in a position to talk.Read More
Ch. 9 – Embracing Biblical Methods: Types of Communication – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)
In the last chapter, Tedd Tripp addressed the need for rich, full communication with our kids. In this chapter he looks at different types of communication. He notes that as parents we often reduce our role to three things: rules, correction, and punishment and notes that most parents would admit that 80-90% of their communication falls into one of those three areas. While he admits that rules, correction and punishment are necessary in every family, there are other types of communication, and we do our kids great harm when we can’t discern the appropriate type of communication for the moment.
He offers descriptions of the following eight types of communication (he does note that these are selected types of communication and there are more):Read More
In the last chapter, Tripp addressed a number of unbiblical methods. In this chapter, he starts into what constitutes biblical methods, but first he reminds us that methods and goals must be complimentary and that our goal as parents is to help our children realize that “a life worth living is life lived under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.” Tripp also reminds us that as parents we must submit to the same Lord.
Tripp offers that a biblical approach to raising kids involves both 1) Rich, full communication; and 2) The rod.
He offers the following list of verses to support this contention:
- Proverbs 23:13-19
- Proverbs 23:22
- Proverbs 23:26