Dad in the Middle » Teaching Topics

An Object Lesson on the Impact of Giving

Wayne — Mon, 31 May 2010 20:45:00 +0000

I’m still trying to catch up on articles published over at Ministry-to-Children.com. Here is another synopsis of an article which I published over on Ministry-to-Children.com. The article titled GIVING OBJECT LESSON FOR CHILDREN was published on May 21, 2010.

Brief Synopsis

In this article, I share an object lesson I did on the power of cooperation when it comes to giving.

Click here to read the entire article!

You can find all the articles I’ve published on Ministry-to-Children.com at this page.

5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin (#5 What Is The Solution For Sin?)

Wayne — Fri, 25 Sep 2009 14:00:20 +0000

This five part series expands on my answer to the question from Children’s Ministry Think Tank #5 on the Ministry-to-Children.com website. In my response to the question:

“How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children without harming their self-esteem? Especially with preschool children, how explicitly do you teach them about their own depravity? How do parents in your ministry respond to these issues?”

I noted five areas I believe children must be taught about sin in order to fully understand the concept. Those were:

In this installment, we will look teaching kids the answer to the question “What Is The Solution For Sin?”

What is the solution for sin?

Finally, we get to the good news! There is a solution to our sin problem. In teaching kids about sin, it is critical that it be coupled with the good news of the cross. I might approach it something like this:

“Remember that we learned that sin is about an attitude of the heart. It’s about wanting to be our own God instead of following the real God. If sin were just a series of bad actions, we might be able to avoid those actions and fix our sin problem on our own. But sin is about the heart, and only God can change our hearts. Remember that God made us in his own image, as his masterpiece, and that God’s masterpiece was broken by sin. Remember that God does not sin, and he can’t live with, or be in relationships with, people who do sin. Sin has consequences and everyone must pay the price for their sin, and there is nothing that we can do about it. The consequence for sin is living forever without God. It sounds like a pretty bad situation without a good solution, doesn’t it? Fortunately, God had a solution for our sin problem before he ever made the earth. God knew that we would sin, and he knew that someone would have to pay the price for that sin. But, he also loves us very much. So, he sent his son, Jesus Christ, to earth as a man to die in our place and pay the penalty we deserve for our sin. When we accept Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior, God no longer looks at us and sees sin. He looks at us and sees his sinless son.”

Kids must understand that they are sinners. However, they should also understand that they are God’s masterpieces, and God has made a way to restore his masterpiece to the way he intended it to be!

Finally, kids must understand that, accepting Jesus Christ sets us free from slavery to sin but does not make us sinless. Christians continue to sin despite the fact that they don’t want to sin. Kids should be assured that this does not mean that they are not saved and taught that God continues to work in our lives so that we can be aware of our sin and strive to sin less, but that we are not immediately made sinless. Instead, we must be aware of our sins as Christians and repent of those sins. Kids should be taught that repentance is more than just saying I’m sorry. It is admitting our sin problem to God and genuinely desiring to turn away from that sin. That said, I think teaching kids about repentance is better left for another series!

Return to 5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin Index Page.

5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin (#4 What Are the Consquences of Sin?)

Wayne — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 14:00:48 +0000

This five part series expands on my answer to the question from Children’s Ministry Think Tank #5 on the Ministry-to-Children.com website. In my response to the question:

“How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children without harming their self-esteem? Especially with preschool children, how explicitly do you teach them about their own depravity? How do parents in your ministry respond to these issues?”

I noted five areas I believe children must be taught about sin in order to fully understand the concept. Those were:

In this installment, we will look teaching kids the answer to the question “What Are The Consequences of Sin?”

What are the consequences of sin?

The topic of teaching the consequences of sin (e.g., hell) is controversial, and has been discussed in the Children’s Ministry Think Tank forum before. Think Tank #4 asked the question:

“How should children’s ministry offer an urgent Gospel invitation without emotionally manipulating children? When does child evangelism cross the line and become abuse? What principles guide you in this area?”

The responses and comments on that question partially addressed this issue of how and how much to teach kids about hell.

The Bible is clear the God hates sin, and kids should understand that. God does not kind of dislike sin. God is not just irritated by sin. God hates sin! Hate is a strong word, and it is the right word to describe God’s reaction to sin. Kids should understand that Gods is perfect and without sin. He has never sinned, and he is so pure that he cannot live with people and be in relationships with people who do sin. I don’t think it hurts to explain to kids (even at a really young age) that this is called God’s Holiness. It is an important concept for kids to grasp, and it is woefully neglected in an era where kids are taught exclusively that God wants to be their friend. That is absolutely true, but there is another part of God who absolutely cannot be friends with sin.

Once children grasp that God cannot tolerate sin, they have to understand that God has created a place for people who sin and continue in their sin. That is a place where people who reject God will live forever without God. The goal in teaching kids about sin and hell is not to scare them into accepting Jesus Christ. However, in order to understand their need for Jesus, they must understand the consequences of sin. In my comments on the question for Think Tank #4, I wrote the following about teaching kids about the rewards of heaven and the punishment of hell:

“…there is definitely a fine line to be walked there. I want a child to understand the penalty for sin and want him to desire the rewards of heaven, but I don’t want to use fear or greed to try to usher them into the kingdom. There is, after all, no fear in love.”

Return to 5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin Index Page.

5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin (#3 Who sins?)

Wayne — Wed, 23 Sep 2009 14:00:49 +0000

This five part series expands on my answer to the question from Children’s Ministry Think Tank #5 on the Ministry-to-Children.com website. In my response to the question:

“How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children without harming their self-esteem? Especially with preschool children, how explicitly do you teach them about their own depravity? How do parents in your ministry respond to these issues?”

I noted five areas I believe children must be taught about sin in order to fully understand the concept. Those were:

In this installment, we will look teaching kids the answer to the question “Who Sins?”

Who sins?

The Bible is crystal clear that we all sin. No exceptions! Every human being sins and falls short of the glory of God. So, how do you convey that to kids? I appreciate the teaching of Charles Spurgeon, Prince of Preachers, on this topic. He said,

“This will necessitate your teaching the child his need of a Savior. You must not hold back from this needful task. Do not flatter the child with delusive rubbish about his nature being good and needing to be developed. Tell him he must be born again. Don’t bolster him up with the fancy of his own innocence, but show him his sin. Mention the childish sins to which he is prone, and pray the Holy Spirit to work conviction in his heart and conscience.”

Spurgeon has a way of getting directly to the point! We owe it to kids not to gloss over their sin. They must understand that they are sinners in need of a Savior, or there will never be a reason for them to accept the gift of the cross.

Here is how I might explain this concept to a group of children:

“The Bible says that we are all made in the image of God. That means that when God made people, he used himself as the model. He gave us an imagination which reflects his imagination. We can love because he loves us. He made us creative because he is creative. He made us want to be around other people because he enjoys being in relationships. The Bible says that we are God’s masterpiece (Ephesians 2:10 NLT). YOU are God’s masterpiece.

But, when sin entered the world, all of that was broken. People rebelled against God and we don’t live the way God intended us to. The Bible also says that everyone sins. You sin when you disobey your parents, when you lie and when say something mean to your little brother or sister. I sin when I am impatient with my kids, when I yell, and when I try to solve problems my way rather than God’s way. Your parents sin. Your brothers and sisters sin. Your teachers at school sin. Your pastor even sin.

Even people who have accepted Jesus Christ in their hearts continue to sin. There has only ever been one man who lived an entirely sin free life. That man was Jesus Christ.”

Something along these lines is a good lead in to the gospel which must go hand-in-hand with any explanation of sin and is discussed in the next section.

Return to 5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin Index Page.

5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin (#2 Where Does Sin Come From?)

Wayne — Tue, 22 Sep 2009 14:00:46 +0000

This five part series expands on my answer to the question from Children’s Ministry Think Tank #5 on the Ministry-to-Children.com website. In my response to the question:

“How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children without harming their self-esteem? Especially with preschool children, how explicitly do you teach them about their own depravity? How do parents in your ministry respond to these issues?”

I noted five areas I believe children must be taught about sin in order to fully understand the concept. Those were:

In this installment, we will look teaching kids the answer to the question “Where Does Sin Come From?”

Where does sin come from?

Genesis 3 is very clear that sin and death entered the world through Adam and Eve’s choice to disobey God’s command. This is a great story for kids (complete with a talking snake). Coupled with Genesis 1 which lays out God’s awesome power and plan in creating the whole world, and Genesis 2 which explains how God created us in his image, Genesis 3 provides a great opportunity to talk to kids about how people rebelled against God’s perfect plan and sinned against God. It also gives you a chance to explain that through that sin all kinds of ugly things associated with sin entered the world, and all future human beings were affected by that sin.

This can also be a great lead in to the next truth that they need to learn “who sins.” The story in Genesis 3 tells how sin entered the world, and children can be taught that Adam and Eve’s sin was passed on to their children and their children and so on and so forth all the way down to us today. In that way, sin is like a last name. Kids get their last name from their parents who got it from their parents who got it from their parents and on and on and on. In the same way that you don’t get to choose your last name (you’re just born with) you are also all born with sin, and that sin separates us from God.

Return to 5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin Index Page.

5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin (#1 What Is Sin?)

Wayne — Mon, 21 Sep 2009 14:00:25 +0000

This five part series expands on my answer to the question from Children’s Ministry Think Tank #5 on the Ministry-to-Children.com website. In my response to the question:

“How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children without harming their self-esteem? Especially with preschool children, how explicitly do you teach them about their own depravity? How do parents in your ministry respond to these issues?”

I noted five areas I believe children must be taught about sin in order to fully understand the concept. Those were:

In this installment, we will look teaching kids the answer to the question “What Is Sin?”

What is Sin?

At a very young age (2-4), it is hard for children to understand much more than the idea that sin is the bad things that we do. As children get older I think it is important to expand on that very rudimentary definition. Sin is not just the bad things that we do. It is also those things that we should do that we don’t. It is the things that we think and attitudes that we have. Sin is essentially doing what we want to do when we want to do it rather than doing what God would have us do. In other words, sin is when we act like our own god instead of letting God be God.

I find that kids are actually quite in tune with this concept. They know that they make bad decisions, and have bad thoughts, and don’t always do what they are supposed to. Whether kids’ parents spank them, or have “talks” with them, or put them in timeout, kids understand what it means to sin. It is more a matter of getting them to understand that those things are sins than anything else. Concrete examples of sin that kids can relate to are best at the elementary age.

At some point, it is critical that kids understand that sin is more than just an issue of behavior. It is important that they understand that sin comes from the heart (Matthew 15:18-19). Behavior can be corrected without ever addressing the sin problem, and it is important that kids understand that sin is less about the specific action and more about the heart attitude that gives rise to that action. With elementary age kids, I think it is important to find ways for them to understand what their actions reveal about their hearts. For example, the girl at school who won’t sit with the new kid because her friends don’t like him reveals that the acceptance of those kids is more important to her than God – a sin. The child who watches T.V. when his parents say he should be doing his homework does not want to submit to authority – a sin. The little boy who hits his sister because she tries to borrow his building blocks has an issue with selfishness – a sin.

In conveying this idea that the outward action is not so much the sin as the underlying heart attitude that gives rise to the action, we lay the foundation for the later discussion about the solution for sin.

Return to 5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin Index Page.

5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin (Children’s Ministry Think Tank)

Wayne — Fri, 18 Sep 2009 18:09:45 +0000

I was honored this month to be asked to write for the fifth installment of the Children’s Ministry Think Tank over at Ministry-to-Children.com. It is one of my favorite recurring features out there in the Children’s Ministry blogging world. I like it so much that I wrote an article about it several months ago called, appropriately enough, Children’s Ministry Think Tank. Each installment has also been featured in The Children’s Ministry Blog Patrol.

The topic for this month is:

“How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children without harming their self-esteem? Especially with preschool children, how explicitly do you teach them about their own depravity? How do parents in your ministry respond to these issues?”

I have included the entire text of my answer below, but I would encourage you to check out the other responses on the Ministry-to-Children.com website. You can get there by clicking on this link to Children’s Ministry Think Tank #5 or clicking on the logo above.

In my response, I indicate that I feel it is foundational that children understand five different things about sin in order to understand the concept. Those are:

Anyone who has read any of the posts here on this blog probably has figured out that when I start writing, I sometimes get really wordy. When I mentioned that to my wife, she just chuckled. So, apparently my wordiness is not limited to this blog. Anyhow, I had written a section for each of these five components which made my submission to the Think Tank ridiculously long. Tony, from Ministry-to-Children.com, very politely let me know that he had to cut them out of the Think Tank for purposes of length but suggested that I post them as a series here. So, recognizing a great suggestion when I hear, that is what I intend to do. Beginning this coming Monday, and continuing through Friday, we will take a break from some of the regular series on this blog and look at how each of these components of an understanding of sin should be taught to children!

The following is the text of my response as published on Ministry-to-Children.com:

When I first got the e-mail asking me to participate in the most recent Children’s Ministry Think Tank, my first thought was “I hope I am qualified, and I am certainly humbled to be in the company of the other writers in this series.” My second thought focused on the term “self-esteem” in the question. I was inclined to share my opinion on the psychologically created idol of self-esteem. I was all prepared to remind everyone that the Christian life is all about God and not about us. I was fashioning language to express the truths of how big God is and how small we are. I was looking up the verses about not esteeming ourselves (Romans 12:3) and how any esteem we have should come from God (James 4:10). Then I decided not to go down that route and instead answer the broader question “How do you teach the doctrine of sin to children?” I think the answer to that question will implicitly answer any issues of “self-esteem.”

An understanding of sin is foundational to the gospel. Without sin, there is no need for the cross. Without the cross and resurrection, there is no Christianity, and to paraphrase Paul, we are to pitied above all men. So, how do you teach the doctrine of sin to children?

I believe that it is essential that kids understand five different things about sin in order to really understand the concept of sin. Those are:

1. What is sin?
2. Where does it come from?
3. Who sins?
4. What are the consequences of sin?
5. What is the solution for sin?

PRACTICAL CONSIDERATIONS:

This post is already much longer than I had anticipated, so I will try to keep this short, but I think there are some practical considerations that should be taken into account when teaching elementary age children about sin.

First, at that age, kids tend to be literal thinkers. Although I think the concept of sin is natural to them (it is evident in their own lives), it is still a concept and the more concrete examples you can provide the better. That said, be careful not to overemphasize behaviors as sin and remember that sin is more about heart attitudes than the actual behavior which they manifest.

Secondly, repetition is key. The more you can reduce the concept to small “sound bites” and repeat those, the more likely they are to retain them. For example, an explanation of sin can be quite lengthy. This article is proof of that! But, if you boil it down to the minimum, sin is “Doing what we want to do instead of what God wants.” Use that phrase, or whatever you come up with, over and over. Have the kids repeat it with you. Even something as simple as “Everyone sins. Everyone!” can help to drive the point home when repeated over and over.

Thirdly, find ways to help kids internalize these ideas. Don’t just tell them that everybody sins, explain to them what sin is and have them come up with ways that they sin. Make a game show out of it. I can hear it now…. “Welcome to a brand new edition of ‘EVERYBODY SINS!’ Join us as we find out how normal everyday people have sinned this week.” The topic is serious, but the presentation can be fun and help the kids to internalize the concepts using examples from their own lives.

Next, I don’t think you can do justice to the idea of sin in one 30 minute teaching. Consider doing a series. You might consider a five part series dealing a little more in depth with each of the sections addressed above.

Finally, above all else, don’t underestimate kids. Don’t discount their ability to comprehend because they are small. I have a blog in which I address various issues related to Children’s Ministry, and I find this point coming up in virtually every article I write. If I could impress one thing on people about working with kids it is this – “they are capable of a lot more than we give them credit for!” The ideas they grasp, their simple take on complex concepts, their ability to comprehend, and their openness to ideas astound me more and more every week! Let me give you an example from my personal life. My son, who is now eight, was learning about sin and the cross. One night when he was four, my wife and I were having a particularly hard time with our teenage son, and I had lost my patience and started to yell. My five year old came up to me and said, “It’s OK Daddy, the devil made Josh’s heart black for now, but God wants to make it red again. He just needs to ask God to do it!” I’ll say it again…don’t underestimate their ability to comprehend!

PARENTAL REACTION

I have not gotten any feedback from parents as of yet on this issue, but I am a father of four children and in a position to talk about it from that perspective. I do know that many parents are somehow able to divorce the ideas of the Bible from their own kids in their minds. Parents don’t like to accept that their kids are sinners. How can that innocent little bundle of joy that they just brought home from the hospital actually be a depraved being steeped in sin since birth? If you’re going to teach kids about their sin and that everyone sins including their parents, you should be prepared for some feedback.

If you’re planning on doing a lesson or series with your kids on sin, it might be worthwhile to suggest to your pastor or leadership that the whole church have a bit of a refresher course on the topic. There are too many churches where the issue of sin and the consequences of sin are not giving nearly enough attention.

I think a lot of parents who do teach their kids about sin put too much focus on behavior. “You know lying to Mommy and Daddy is a sin.” or “Hitting little Billy is sin.” I know that I have been guilty of this in my own childrearing. I think we can help parents both on this issue, and in parenting in general, by steering them to issues of the heart. Finally, parents must understand that no matter what we teach kids at church on Sunday, ultimately the Christianity which their kids will likely live out is the Christianity they see their parents living Monday through Saturday!

Return to 5 Things Kids Must Know About Sin Index Page.

Talking to Kids About Death

Wayne — Tue, 15 Sep 2009 11:00:16 +0000

This past week our church family suffered a tragic loss. The 21 year old son of two long-time church members, a kid who had grown up in our church, went missing while hiking in Colorado. I do not know the family personally, but our pastor posted a facebook status update last Wednesday night asking for prayers and suggesting that we “pray like it was your son!” That hit home with me. As the father of four kids, I started to think what it must be like for that family. Needless to say, they were in my prayers frequently over the next couple of days. Like many from around the world, I prayed that everything would work out OK, and that he would be found. Late Friday night, the sad word came that the young man’s body had been found, and that he had died in a tragic accident. My heart ached as I read those words, and continues to ache, for a family I have never even met. At the same time, I was comforted by the fact this young man, taken out of this world in his prime, was now with our savior Jesus Christ. That family continues in my prayers as they work through this grieving process.

To be honest, throughout my life, I have found that one of the hardest things I have had to deal with is people who have lost a loved one. I think a lot of people feel that way. It is not a comfortable position to be in. I never know what the right thing to say is, and I just feel inadequate for the task. On the heels of this tragedy, the pastors at our church presented a message this past weekend titled “Tragedy and the Gospel.” As part of the message, still working through the grief of the most recent tragedy to befall our local church body, our Associate Pastor offered practical advice to those of us trying to comfort those going through the grieving process. It struck a cord with me, and I thought I would pass it along. He offered the following advice:

Helping people grieve is not just for professional pastors.
Keep praying for them. Don’t stop! Dealing with tragedy is a process.
Be with those who are grieving to the extent that you are a blessing. Do not withdraw.
This is not the time to offer unsolicited advice.
Refrain from correcting one another’s theology in the midst of tragedy. Overwhelmed with grief, people will question God. It is part of the grieving process. Allow each other the freedom to ask questions and express grief.
Don’t feel like you have to fix the situation or the problem or even to identify with the person grieving. The grieving process is all about the person grieving and God. It’s not about you and what has happened to you that may or may not be relevant.
Listen! Listen! Listen, and listen some more!
Support one another practically. Hugs, meals, prayers and offers of help are comforting. The most important thing is that God wants to tell those who are grieving “I love you!” Be the hands and feet of Jesus’ love.
Pray with those who are hurting. Pray that the Holy Spirit would come and pour out more of himself on them and the current situation. Pray for a connection between the griever and God. Let God do the work, he is good at it!

So, I didn’t get to listen to this sermon until Monday afternoon because I was working with the kids in the kindergarten and first grade room this past Sunday. I should have prepared something to say. I should have known that the issue would come up. As we were sitting around in small groups making crowns for a lesson on Solomon and the Queen of Sheba, one of the children in my group asked me, “Have you heard the news?” I knew what he was talking about, but I pried a little further to find out what he was talking about, “What news?” “You know, the bad news,” was his response. Again, I pried a little further. “What bad news do you mean?” All he said was, “About the boy who died.” Within a couple of seconds, several of the kids at the table were sharing what they had heard about the situation. Frankly, they had a lot more information about the situation than I did. Kids are very frank with what they know. That type of situation must be handled carefully. Here’s what I did. I explained to the children that I had heard the news, but that I didn’t have a lot of details. I told them that the family must be sad for the loss of their loved one, and that we should pray for them. I also explained to them the good news that this young man was now with Jesus and that the Bible tells us that that is better than any experience here on earth. I answered some questions that they had, but then they seemed ready to move on.

Like I said earlier, I wish I had been prepared for the question. In hindsight, I know I should have been prepared. It was naïve of me to think that it wouldn’t come up. Having thought more about my answer to those kids over the last day or so, I think I might have tweaked it a little bit. I think I would have tried to draw out a little more what they were thinking and feeling about it before trying to give my “answer” or “quick fix.” Looking back, I feel like a missed an opportunity to get at the questions behind the question. I think I would have focused on how much God hates death and perhaps talked about why Jesus cried when Lazarus died even though he knew he was about to raise him for the grave. And, I think my general discomfort with the topic led me to take the easy route and let the conversation be cut short when a couple of the kids jumped to another topic.

So, here is my question to you? How would you deal with the issue of death with elementary age children? I am not speaking about those children dealing directly with a death in the family, etc. who are going through the grieving process, but those kids who have heard about it, or are interested in it, or just have questions about it. How do you convey the grief that survivors feel at the death of a dear one and juxtapose that against the surpassing joy of seeing our Savior face-to-face to a five or six year old? What are your ideas?