The Problem / The Need

Every good product serves a need or solves a problem.  Here is the problem we are going to talk about today – Facebook has become a bit of an institution in our society.  More and more people join every day, and that means more and more kids are exposed to Facebook every day.  And let’s face it, Facebook is fun!  It’s fun to connect with people, there are plenty of cool games to play, and keeping up on trendy things is just generally fun.  That means kids will also want to be involved, and the problem for them is that Facebook does not allow pre-teens to be members.  In reality, I do not actually view the fact that pre-teens are not allowed on Facebook as  a “problem” because I don’t think most kids under 13 should be on Facebook to begin with, but it does present a problem from the kids’ standpoint as they increasingly desire to enjoy the same internet driven social networking that their parents and friends are using.  For parents who have signed their kids up for Facebook when they are not yet 13, there was an interesting discussion on CMConnect.org about the implications of allowing kids to lie about their age in order to obtain access to the site.  That alone should give us pause for concern as Christian parents.

The Solution

Fortunately, there is a great new Facebook alternative called Togetherville.com which was designed specifically for kids.  It allows kids to experience all the benefits of Facebook (games, videos, social networking) in a safe environment which is totally controlled by their parents.  I’ve signed my kids up, and they love it.  Togetherville is a social networking site designed specifically for kids.  Here is what Togetherville has to say about it’s product:

In Togetherville, children learn much more than computer skills. They learn how to use technology to connect with the important people in their lives – safely. And those important people show them how to act responsibly online. Whether a parent, aunt, grandparent or family friend, take this role seriously and participate in the online neighborhoods of kids in your life.

How Does it Work? How Do I Get Started?

Parents sign in to Togetherville using their Facebook account.  Once signed in, a parent can create an account for each of their children.  While parents use their Facebook username and password to sign in, children never actually interact with Facebook when using Togetherville.  Each child is given a unique username and a password that allows them to sign in to Togetherville.  Both the username and password are determined by the parent.  Parents set up and maintain total control of their kids’ online profiles and friends.

An Explanation of Togetherville Friends

The idea of friends in Togetherville works very similarly to Facebook.  Kids can see what their friends are doing, what they’ve posted and interact with them online.  There are two dsitinct differences from Facebook though.  First, friends are limited to those people specifically approved by parents.  As far as I can tell, the only people your kids can choose to have as friends are your friends from Facebook, and their kids to the extent that they have registered them for Togetherville.  In other words, if someone is your friend on Facebook (and has joined Togetherville), you can add that person as your child’s friend.  If those Facebook friends of yours have added their own children to Togetherville, you can also add those kids as your children’s friends (and your own friends as well). So, my children and I are all friends with a number of my nieces and nephews because I am friends with their parents.  If I haven’t muddled that explanation too much, the other major difference between friends in Togetherville and on Facebook is that your interactions (comments, statuses, gifts, etc.) are limited to a set of messages pre-approved by Togetherville.  Unlike Facebook, you do not have unlimited options when it comes to setting your status or leaving comments.  That way, you don’t have to worry about your child reading anything inappropriate on Togetherville.

What can you do on Togetherville?

In addition to just having friends, there are a number of additional things you can do on Togetherville.  Rather than re-create the wheel, here is what the Togetherville site has to say about its other activities (I borrowed their graphics as well – I assume they won’t mind).

Play Games – Super fun or super educational, Togetherville games are kid-size and ad free. Kids can save their favorites, earn points by playing, and see how they rank against their friends!

Create Artwork – Self-expression is an important part of being a child. In Togetherville, kids can design logos, cards and collages to display on their profile or share with friends and family.

Watch Videos – Kids have fun (and maybe even learn a thing or two!) checking out videos from The Electric Company to stop-motion animation! All video content is pre-screened to be safe and age-appropriate!

Say “Hi!” – Drop-down text messages, called “quips”, express thoughts and feelings and allow kids to safely comment on each others’ game scores and creative work and send messages to grownups. Kids can even suggest their own for future use.

Here is what I can tell you about each of these activities based upon my own experience and that of my kids.  The games are a hit – plain and simple!  My kids were mostly interested in Facebook in the first place for the games, and they have found Togetherville to be suitable replacement.  I haven’t had a chance to play any of them myself, but they look fun from peering over my kids’ shoulders.  My daughter loves crafts.  She always has, and she loves the artwork feature of Togetherville.  Kids get to create their own masterpieces and send them to their friends.  I can always tell when my daughter has been on Togetherville because I get a copy of her latest artwork.  As a parent, I have the option of showing off those works of art on my own Facebook wall.  The videos on Togetherville are a nice alternative to sites like YouTube because they have been filtered, and you can rest assured that they are age appropriate.

How much does Togetherville cost?

Oh, that’s the great part.  It’s free!  I did notice that there is now an allowance feature where you can buy “T-Bills” to give to your kids as an allowance.  Although I’ve not had an opportunity to explore these new “T-Bills” (the feature wasn’t active when I did my research for this review), it appears that these T-Bills may unlock additional features for the site.  While I wish the entire site were free, I understand the need to make some money off of this endeavor, and I actually appreciate that they went this route rather than include a bunch of advertising on the site geared towards kids.

Would I Recommend It?

I would, and have, recommend it to parents and pre-teen kids.  Thus far, a number of my nieces and nephews have joined the site which only adds to the fun for my kids.  Rather than viewing social networking as evil, I think we, as parents, must embrace it as part of our kids’ future.  Togetherville is a fun, and safe, way of allowing our kids to explore that world while still under our protection.  And, it seems to me, that is exactly what our job as parents is.  As a parents, I also appreciate that the people at Togetherville have not created a site intended solely for kids to retreat from their family life.  Instead, Togetherville encourages parents and kids to interact in a way which does not replace traditional interaction but supplements it.  Togetherville is still a relatively new entity, and I do not know what the future holds, I hope that it takes off like Facebook, Twitter and other social networking sites.  For now though, I wholeheartedly and unashamedly recommend it.

Related posts:

1. CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS – By Jim Wideman (A Dad in the Middle Review)
2. FAITHWEAVER PARENT CLASS (A Dad in the Middle Review)
3. Dad in the Middle – The Year in Review

www.youtube.com/watch?v=5Kp8yXDpNaQ

Related posts:

1. Phillipians 4:6-7 (Seeds Family Worship)
2. Ten Little Rules
3. Psalm 55:22 (Seeds Family Worship)

When I reflect on my early images of God, my feelings toward the church, and my childhood prayers, it’s the memories I held that shaped each of those.

Did I like going to church? Were they nice to me? What was the funny skit about? Did I feel included?

While the Bible tells us that the heart is deceitful, the truth of the matter is, kids won’t be interested in coming back if their time with you is not memorable. In Sarah’s words, “Memories Matter.” She notes that we are competing with an unlimited number of activities for the attention of children, and,

As we seek to build relationships, care for parents, educate in Christian knowledge, and ultimately raise children in Christ’s love, our lens ought to be, “Is this worth remembering?”

If kids can’t remember what you did in kids’ church, then it will not have an impact.  What counts is what they walk away with.

Questions for further discussion

The stated purpose of this book is to spark further conversation.  I have included some of my thought above, but like other chapters I have included a listing of additional questions to spark further conversation.  Here are the questions I came up with:

1. What are you doing to make sure that your kids’ services are memorable?
2. Do you agree that if what you do isn’t memorable it doesn’t matter?
3. What practical things can you do to help build memories for children in your church?
4. Do you believe that most memories are based on relationship?  If so, how are you building relationships that will lead to lasting memories?
5. How do you compete in today’s day and age with all the other activities which kids are involved in?

By the way, I borrowed the images for this post from the actual e-book which you can download here for free! The stunning artwork was developed by Imago.

Related posts:

1. What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry – Kingdom by Anthony Prince
2. What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry – The End by Kenny Conley
3. What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry – Sufficiency Dr. Rob Rienow

5. Matt McKee (@MattMcKee).  Matt recently moved from the Cincinnati area to Atlanta to help out the ReThink Group and work on his new undertaking – R04R. R04R is a technology company formed to design applications for the IPhone and Android phones for churches and other organizations.  Frankly, I think the work sounds fascinating, and I enjoyed having a chance to talk (even if only very briefly) with Matt about his new company and about his work with ReThink.  Matt is a nice a guy and clearly passionate about what he is doing these days.  On the down side, he did come and sit at the table with us during the Yancy show with the best smelling Arby’s sandwich ever even though we hadn’t had lunch yet, but I can probably forgive him for that.  I can’t wait to find out what Matt is doing next.  I only regret that we didn’t have more time to talk about church signs.

6. Bob Singleton is the founder and president (and everything else) of God’s Kids Worship.  I recently had the opportunity to correspond with Bob related to my review and giveaway of some CD’s on Dad in the Middle.  I had an idea from that correspondence what type of person Bob would be, and I wasn’t disappointed after I met him.  Bob has a passion for reaching kids through music, and he is really good at it.  My wife and I spoke to Bob and his wife (a fellow numbers person) for quite a while on Thursday night.  I enjoyed learning more about his time working on Barney, how he works with kids, and the research he’s done in the area.  The products, which Bob almost singlehandedly puts together, are top notch, and it was a blast just having some time to chat with Bob and his wife.

7. Yancy (@yancynotnancy).  I didn’t actually get a chance to spend any time chatting with Yancy, but I did finally have an opportunity to see her perform.  I was going to take the family last December to a Christmas concert she was doing here in December.  I don’t remember exactly why, but for some reason we weren’t able to make it.  I’ve used her music at church, and after seeing her perform at the Expo, I understand why so many people are drawn to her.  She has a very warm personality and beautiful voice.  Most importantly though, it is clear that she is singing to kids because she has a heart for kids.  Whether it was a two year old tugging at her leg or a nine year old running up out of nowhere to give her a hug, she was always warm and and engaging.  I can’t wait until her new album comes out later this summer, and neither can my seven year old daughter.

8. Tamera Kraft (@TameraKraft).  I had a chance to stop by the Revival Fire for Kids booth briefly and talk to Tamera Kraft and her mother.  We didn’t get to talk for long, but it was nice to have a chance to say hello and to talk to someone else from Ohio.

9. Tina Houser is the editor of K! Magazine.  She was swarmed with people throughout most of the Expo, so while I did get a chance to say hello, I didn’t really get the opportunity to speak with her.  I did however get to speak with her husband who was a full-time pastor until just recently.  Unfortunately, his name escapes me at the moment, but I really enjoyed talking to him about children’s ministry and getting his input on the importance of that ministry from the stand point of a senior pastor.

10. Commander Bill Gunter (@CommanderBill). Commander Bill is one of the writers for Kidmin1124.com (one of the original four), and he was high on my list of people to meet and talk to.  I got meet Commander Bill and his lovely wife early during the Expo, and we ran into him several times thereafter.  Above all else, I was amazed by Bill’s tremendous amount of knowledge about Awana in general.  I am convinced that you could ask Bill anything about Awana for the past 25 years, and he would be able to answer.  On top of that, Bill is a great guy, and I enjoyed the chance to get to know him in person.

11. Marty Martin (@KidologyToGo).  I have been reading about Marty’s plans to quit his full time kidmin position and take his family on a two-and-a-half year RV trip around the country for the last several months.  When the announcement came out last Wednesday that he would be doing it for KidologyToGo and presenting seminars along the way, it suddenly all made a lot more sense.  I admire his passion and his willingness to follow God’s call, and it was a pleasure to spend 10 minutes chatting at the Expo.

12. Jason Martin (@TheJayMart). Jason Martin is the children’s pastor at Lifechurch in Swansea, IL.  Unfortunately, prior to the Expo, I only new him as the short haired @TheJayMart on Twitter who I have interacted with from time to time.  So, when I was sitting on the couch with a Jim Wideman and a gentleman with long hair from IL, I never made the connection.  In fact, it wasn’t until @TheJayMart sent me a message telling me it was nice to chat on the couch that I finally put two and two together (with the help of my wife who is lot better with faces than me).  Jason is a great guy, and I enjoyed chatting briefly with him.  He also has a great family.  He was there with his wife and three daughters who cracked both my wife and I up as they took over Yancy’s performance at the Expo.  I’m looking forward to getting to know Jason better both online and hopefully at future conferences.

There were a few people I didn’t get to see.  Somehow or another, I managed to miss Michael Chanley (@MichaelChanley) who was there on Thursday which was a little bit disappointing.  I’m not sure whether or not Michael was there on Friday.  If so, I didn’t see him.  I saw Roger Fields (@RogerFields) several times but he was so busy hosting that I actually felt bad about the prospect of interrupting him. I’m sure he wouldn’t have minded, but it’s one of my quirks about not being a bother to people.  I got to meet Terra Harrison (@blitzchicky) very briefly with Tony Kummer after the Expo was actually over.  Roger and Terra did an awesome job (along with some other great people) of putting this whole thing together.  I will make a point to meet them both next year!  Which brings me to my next bit a good news – the days for the 2011 CM Expo have been set – July 7 & 8, 2011.  Mark your calendar today.  The first one was great, and think the second one can only get better!

Thanks to a great group of great people who helped to make my CM Expo experience a wonderful one.

Related posts:

1. The Best Part of My Visit to the CM Expo (Part 1)
2. Who Else is Going to the Children’s Ministry Expo?

1. Tony Kummer (@TonyKummer). Of all the people I was planning on meeting at meeting at the CM Expo last week, Tony is the only one I have actually spoken to before.  We have had a number of telephone conversations (during many of which Tony has talked long enough to totally deplete the battery on my cell phone).  I have always admired Tony’s website – Ministry-to-Children.com.  For the last six months or so, I have been working with Tony to try to promote interest and activities in the forums on his site.  About three months ago, I started to write article for Tony’s site as well.  I’ve enjoyed our phone conversations and talking blogging with Tony, and I was looking forward to meeting him in person.  I was not disappointed.  Tony is a great guy.  It didn’t hurt that he has a similar sense of humor to me and enjoys causing a little bit a good natured trouble here and there.  Despite all of the success with the website, he is humble and quick to remind you that he is “just” a new children’s pastor at a reasonably sized church who happens to have a blog.  In addition to his dedication to children’s ministry, Tony is also clearly a devoted father.  Although younger than yours truly, he’s got one more kid than me, and I found it just as interesting to share stories about being Dad with him as talking about children’s ministry.  One thing I didn’t know about Tony that I learned at the Expo is his outgoing nature.  I tagged along a bit as Tony made his rounds of the Expo and was amazed at his ability to carry on a conversation with just about anyone.  I also noted that, because of Ministry-to-Children.com, people were chomping at the bit to throw free stuff at Tony to review on his site.  I appreciate his willingness to pass some of that along to us minions to review.   My conversations with Tony, and others, sparked a number of ideas for blog posts which you will see here on Dad in the Middle, or on Ministry-to-Children.com or Kidmin1124.com, in the near future.  I’m looking forward to continuing to collaborate with Tony as time goes on.

2. Jim Wideman (@JimWideman). It won’t be any surprise to anyone who reads this blog that I have a great deal of respect for Jim Wideman.  After meeting him this past week at CM Expo, that respect has only grown.  Jim had what had to be the best idea for a booth at CM Expo.  Some people has full scale architectural masterpieces.  Jim had a couple of chairs, a couch and some odds and ends from the garage for ambiance.  His booth was designed for people to just sit and chat with him, and it worked well.  In fact, Jim was so busy with people on the first night of the Expo that I didn’t actually get a chance to say hi.  I did have some time to hang out with him on Friday.  As well known and respected as he is in the world of children’s ministry, what struck me the most about Brother Jim was his friendliness and humility.  I didn’t actually get a chance to talk children’s ministry with him, which I regret, but we did get to “shoot the breeze” and talk a little bit about parenting.  One of the things I have always appreciated about Jim is that every time I have ever heard him speak, and in everything I have ever read from him, his family is prominently featured.  It is clear from everything he does that next to God his family is his highest priority, and I feel like I can learn just as much from him about being a husband and father as I can about children’s ministry.  It was also interesting for me to listen to Jim talk about his tendency to take a perfectly good hobby and turn it into a job/chore.  I had to laugh as I was sitting there with my wife who has told me the same thing a number of times.   If you are in full-time ministry, I would definitely encourage you to check out Brother Jim’s Infuse group and/or his one-day seminars coming up this fall.  You can find out about both on his website.  After meeting Brother Jim and talking to him for just a very short period of time, I understand why people line up to learn from him.  If you ever have that opportunity, I encourage you to jump at it.

3. Amy Fenton Lee (@AmyFentonLee). I had corresponded with Amy prior to the Expo and was really looking forward to meeting her.  I have enjoyed reading her articles in various publications and on The Inclusive Church blog, and we had corresponded prior to the Expo to make plans to get together to chat.  I had the chance to sit down with Amy for about an hour while she waited for her flight.   Her flight delay turned out to be my gain.  I thoroughly enjoyed our conversation about children’s ministry, her blog, Kidmin1124, blogging in general, children’s pastors, and challenges facing those in children’s ministry (I’m sure we talked about a lot more, but I can’t recall it all right now ).  I learned quite a bit about special needs ministry from Amy who is clearly an expert in the field.  It was interesting to talk to her about writing as well.  She clearly takes her writing very seriously, and she is really good at it.  In addition to the encouragement that I got from her, I think the thing that struck with me most about our conversation is how much it sparked the rusty gears in my brain to get cranking.  Our conversation challenged me to think through issues and positions which I have held for quite a while but have not really taken the time to articulate.  I enjoy listening to and learning from people.  It’s one of the reasons that I read as much as I do.  That said, I really enjoy and article or conversation that not only teaches me but also forces me to think.  My conversation with Amy fell into that category, and I look forward to talking to and corresponding with her much more.  Sometimes you just click with people, and I know that Amy is one of those people that I will continue to learn from and be challenged by when it comes both to children’s ministry in general and writing in particular.

4. Gina McClain (@Gina_McClain).  Like almost everyone else on this list, I had not met Gina prior to the CM Expo.  I did participate in a think tank that she put together several months ago which was very thought provoking and edifying, but we hadn’t yet met.  I didn’t get as much time as I would have liked to talk to Gina, but the conversations that we did have were very enjoyable.  She clearly takes the prize for the best story I heard at the Expo which I wish I could share with you here, but it just doesn’t seem appropriate.   How is that for a build up and let down?  In all seriousness though, in my short interactions with Gina, I noted four things about her.  First, her Iphone is less like an accessory and more like an attachment. I think her ability to talk and tweet on her Iphone at the same time is second to none.    Secondly, she has a passion for children’s ministry which is undeniable.  Third, I understand why she is in demand as an author and speaker.  When you’re talking to Gina, you just feel like she knows what she is talking about.  She exudes expert. And, finally, she’s just a nice person. I look forward to continuing to converse with her on all things children’s ministry.

I have at least six or seven more people on my list to write about, but it’s been a long weekend, so I think I will save those for tomorrow or Wednesday.  Needless to say, I had a great time, and met a lot of great people.  Don’t miss Tony Kummer’s recap of the Expo and especially his video which features the four people above, and many more.  You can find that article here.

Related posts:

1. The Best Part of My Visit to the CM Expo (Part 2)
2. Who Else is Going to the Children’s Ministry Expo?
3. 100 Questions For Talking to Kids

Related posts:

1. Bible Shorts
2. The DaSeussi Code
3. #2 – The Jesus Storybook Bible (Top Ten Christian Books for Kids)

Brief Synopsis: We don’t always have to share the gospel with kids in order to show them the love of Jesus. In this article, I share about a time I spent just chatting with a kid about his life which was as spiritual as anything I’ve ever done.

Click here to read the entire article!

You can find all the articles I’ve published on Ministry-to-Children.com at this page.

Related posts:

1. #21 – Don’t Lose Sight of Your Own Spiritual Journey (Tips For Large Group Teaching)
2. A Fun Idea for Kids’ Offering Time
3. 100 Questions For Talking to Kids

Brief Synopsis: This article tackles the common misperception in our culture that life is supposed to be fair and explains that God never intended for life to be fair.

Click here to read the entire article!

You can find all the articles I’ve published on Ministry-to-Children.com at this page.

Related posts:

1. Does Quality Time Always Have to Be Spiritual Time?
2. This Sunday
3. 100 Questions For Talking to Kids

Brief Synopsis: In this article, I share a tool which we’ve started using in our children’s ministry to make offering a little more fun.  It’s been a couple of months since I wrote the original article, and I am glad to say the kids are having as much fun as ever with their offering time at church!

Click here to read the entire article!

You can find all the articles I’ve published on Ministry-to-Children.com at this page.

Related posts:

1. 100 Questions For Talking to Kids
2. Does Quality Time Always Have to Be Spiritual Time?
3. An Object Lesson on the Impact of Giving

I haven’t posted a Children’s Ministry Moment in a while so I thought I would share one of my favorite stories from my own son and his Children’s Ministry Lesson. Several years ago, when Jacob was five or six, I picked him up after church as usual. I asked what they had talked about that day, and he told me they learned about when Saul met Jesus and Jesus renamed him Paul. He explained that Saul was traveling on a road to go somewhere when he met Jesus. He couldn’t quite come up with the name of the place Saul was traveling to. I offered up the Saul was traveling to Damascus.

“That’s right,” he said, “Saul was going to Damascus. They call it that because the people there were stupider than anybody else.”

There you have it – Biblical geography through the eyes of a child!

Return to the Children’s Ministry Moments index page.

Related posts:

1. How Many People Were On That Boat? (Children's Ministry Moment #5)
2. Children's Ministry Moment #1 – Outdoor Guy
3. Everybody Needs Jesus (Children's Ministry Moment #7)

Sam starts with a great summary of the importance of redemption:

One of the greatest messages we can give to every family we come in contact with is the message of redemption. In kids’ ministry, today, we deal with more broken hearts and broken families than ever before. I believe every family needs to experience the power of redemption.

In a ministry where so many focus on fun and games, I was happy to see Sam bring it back where it really belongs…to the redemptive power of Christ.  That is the power we want to see in the kids we minister to.  In a hurt and broken world, and in the hurt and broken little hearts that we see each weekend, we long for the redemptive power of Christ to work in their lives.

From there, Sam moves to a very practical discussion of why the idea of redemption is critical to our ministries:

Oftentimes, parents stay at arms length away from our ministries because we can set the bar so high they feel they can’t reach it. The message we need to be sending to the parents who attend our churches and to those who have yet to attend is that we are not looking for perfect families because they don’t exist.  Our goal in kids’ ministries needs to be helping families understand that following Christ is a process where we fail and He redeems.

So many in our society strive to present the image of the perfect family.   And, those of us who don’t live up to that image, can easily succumb to guilt and even despair.  In children’s and family ministry, we must help parents to understand that there are no perfect people and no perfect families.  Church must be a safe place for imperfect people.  It must be a place where parents can come for biblical advice on how to run their families without fearing being transparent in their family life.

With all that insight, I actually found the last thing Sam wrote to be the most important of all:

When our kids grow up understanding true forgiveness and real redemption they will never settle for cheap grace.

Our God did not come to Earth and die on a cross for cheap grace, and it cheapens his work in human history when reduce our teaching to his children to that level.  Our job is to help them, not just understand the redemptive power of Christ, but to experience that power.  If we can do that, I am confident that we will have accomplished our purpose.

Questions for further discussion

The stated purpose of this book is to elicit further conversation.  I have included some of my thought above, but like other chapters I have included a listing of additional questions to spark further conversation.  Here are the questions I came up with:

1. Is there anything that you are doing or teaching that you feel cheapens the presentation of the grace of God?
2. What does your church do to attract imperfect families?
3. What systems do you have set up in your ministry to address the broken hearts and broken families of the kids you minister to?
4. What examples of the redemptive power of Christ have you seen in the kids you minister to?
5. How do you explain the idea of redemption to younger children?

By the way, I borrowed the images for this post from the actual e-book which you can download here for free! The stunning artwork was developed by Imago.

You can find a link to this, and all the other articles I’ve done related to this book, on my What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry Page.

Related posts:

1. What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry – Worldview
2. What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry – Sufficiency Dr. Rob Rienow
3. What Matters Now in Children’s Ministry – Infectious by The Lads

When Larry Shallenberger announced several months ago that he was planning on doing a book blog tour to celebrate the fifth anniversary of his book, I eagerly signed up.  I don’t know Larry personally, but I do follow his comments on Twitter and read his blog, so I kind of feel like I know him even if he doesn’t follow me on Twitter.   Based on that presumption of relationship, and the generally laid back nature of people in children’s ministry, I will refer to him as Larry throughout this review.

Anyhow, I knew that regardless of what the book was about, Larry’ has a great sense of humor and an easy to read writing style, so I knew reading his book wouldn’t be a complete waste of time.  That said, when I found out the topic of the book was leadership, I got just a little bit leery.  It’s not that I don’t like reading about leadership or being a leader.  I actually do, but the world has plenty of books on leadership, and I have read a bunch of them.  It seems the everybody who has ever been a boss or started a ministry or had people report to them has taken it upon themselves to write a book on leadership.  After a while, they all just seem to say the same thing – do it my way and you’ll be OK, and it ultimately all runs together into a fuzzy blurry haze in my head.  Besides that, I already have a group of people whose writings, podcasts, etc. on topic of leadership I devour.  They include people like Andy Stanley, Jim Wideman, and others who I have grown to trust in this area and have learned a lot from.  With all due respect to Larry, I wasn’t sure what he could offer that hadn’t either already heard or wasn’t getting from some of the other resources I was reviewing.

There’s an old, slightly cliché, saying that “You can’t judge a book by its cover.”  I agree in principal, and Larry’s book turned out to be a prime example of this for me and another reason I try not to let pre-conceived notions totally guide what I choose to read.  Now, I’ve never recommended that someone not read this book, but if it hadn’t been for this blog tour, I’m not sure I ever would have read it either.  Had that happened, I would have missed out.

What was my overall impression?

Larry’s book opened my eyes, and my heart, to ideas and theories that I had never even considered.  It is written in a style that I personally found compelling and engaging with plenty of practical advice thrown in for good measure.   Not only is this book one I learned from on my initial read through, it is one that I am certain to refer back to time and time again.  With those general observations out of the way, let’s a little more detailed look at the book itself.

How is this review different from other reviews?

I know what you’re thinking – even if you won’t admit it.  10 reviews in 10 days by 10 different people, why should I read yours?  You think you have issues?  I found out that my review was going to be number 7 of 10.  I didn’t get to lead off with the epic home run that leave people wanting more.  I don’t get to close with quips of wisdom.  What on earth was I going to write about that would be different than everyone else?  Here’s what I decided – I would write I want.  It’s kind of freeing in a way.   I decided to do with this book what I do with many of my reviews here on Dad in the Middle (especially the good ones) and feature a whole lot more content from the book than my own personal opinion while still offering some insight into what I got out of it.  Hopefully this will give you enough information to discern whether or not you want to read it for yourself.  I hope that you will as the book will give you a ridiculous amount of additional detail not available in this review.

Who is this book written for?

The book is written specifically for those of us in children’s ministry.  Indeed, the subtitle is “Discovering Your Leadership Style in Children’s Ministry.”  That said, the principles throughout this book are just as applicable to any other ministry and to life in general.  As someone with a passion for children’s ministry though, I appreciate that the focus of this book is squarely on children’s ministry and children’s ministry leaders.

What is the basic premise of the book?

The books starts by dispelling what Larry calls “the myth of the perfect leader.”  He notes that we, as a society, spend our time looking for and/or trying to be the perfect leader – the leader who bring everything to the table and is capable of juggling all the balls which leadership invariably throws at us.  Other people compare us to this mythical leader, and more importantly, we compare ourselves to this mythical leader and find ourselves lacking.  I know that, in my own life, this is something that I have been guilty of many time.  Larry explains that there is no such things as the perfect leader.  That’s not the way God made us, and:

When we try to be someone God didn’t wire us to be, we make it very hard for God to use us.

Imagine that!  In trying to lead the ministries God has called us to, we try to be more than God has made us to be and end up doing less than God has enabled us to do.

Larry has quite cleverly and effectively positioned this book on leadership around something those of us in children’s ministry can relate to – an object lesson.   In this case, Larry explores leadership styles as they relate to putting on a play and then examines how those styles relate to children’s ministry.  Now, I’ve never put on a big production in Children’s Ministry, but the analogy itself is so illuminating that I still found it helpful and educational.

What are the different facets of leadership?

Larry follows up shattering the myth of the perfect leader by noting five stars that any children’s ministry leadership team needs to have to be truly effective.  He notes that no one leader can possibly bring all of these stars.  They are:

1. Describing the Promised Land – a destination towards which your ministry is heading – a vision
2. Providing Road Maps – strategic plans and listing of core values
3. Tending to the Tool Box – making sure the right skills and resources are available
4. Keeping the Ministry “Heart-Healthy” – tending to heart of the ministry ensuring positive outlook and optimism
5. Providing Muscle – ability to get things done

The purpose of this book is to examine leadership styles and what we can bring to the table in terms of the five stars of leadership.  In addition to that, it offers advice on how to train ourselves to be better leaders in areas where we are not and understand the other facets of leadership so that you can surround yourself with the right types of people to have a five-star ministry.  Larry points out the following:

We tend to surround ourselves with people who think like we do.

Instead, in order to be effective leaders, we must surround ourselves with people who compliment our strengths and make up for our weaknesses.  There is much to be gained by understanding the leadership styles presented in this book.

Who doesn’t love a test?

I have to admit it.  I love tests.  I really do.  I like personality tests, gifting tests, political affiliation tests, etc., etc., etc.  Give me a series of seemingly random questions and then reduce it to a profile about me, and I love it!  So, when I wandered past Chapter 1 of the book and found Chapter 2, I was ecstatic!  I know you think I’m embellishing my reaction, but I’m really not.  I also imagine you’re thinking, “Really, we’re only on Chapter 2?  I thought this was a review not the actual book!”  I promise, it’ll pick up.

Anyhow, Chapter 2 is “the dramatic leadership assessment test” in which you answer 48 questions with an indication of how often they apply to you.  Fill out the number grid, add up the numbers and this test will rank six different leadership styles as the apply to you (with your highest score being your most prevalent style, and so on).

So, what are the leadership styles?

If I’m being honest, it was this test that really peaked my interest in the book.  Larry’s work went from being some abstract, albeit good, principals about leadership to something very personal – what is my leadership style?  After filling out the test, I couldn’t wait to jump to the chapter describing my most prevalent style, which I did.  I actually read all six in order of decreasing prevalence from my own test results.  The ones which matched my profile were interesting.  It’s always fun to see how well they actually match up to you, and they were spot on in this case.  Much to my surprise however, I learned just as much (maybe more) from reading the bottom three as the top three.  It’s was insightful to learn about people with leadership styles which represent my weaknesses and figure out who and how to incorporate those into my leadership style.  I think this is where Larry has really hit it out the park with his book, and I think this is why this book becomes much more of a reference work for constant review than just a one-time read.

So, Chapters 3 through 8 each describe one of the leadership styles.  Each chapter start with a reference to the ongoing Production object lesson followed by a profile of the leadership style, a biblical case study, a contemporary case study, and specific ideas and practical application about how to lead with each style whether or not it is your strength.  Each chapter ends with a prayer based on the leadership style and some questions for discussion.  Before I list the styles, I should say that the parts of each chapter which I enjoyed the most were the biblical case study and the contemporary case study.  My leadership style (which I’ll discuss later) says I like to go to the Bible to learn about leadership and kids, so it’s no surprise that I enjoyed the Biblical case study for each leadership style.  However, I also enjoyed the contemporary case study in which Larry interviewed and shared the perspectives of the likes of Jim Wideman, Karl Bastian (the Kidologist), Craig Jutlia and others.

So, without any further delay, here are the six leadership styles as Larry defines them along with a brief explanation of each:

What were my results?

Well, thanks for asking.  I actually took the test twice.  The differences were only minor, but I spent more time reflecting on each question the second time, so here are the results from that test (including scores for each style out of a potential total of 24):

1. Drama Coach (21)
2. Director (20)
3. Stage Manager (17)
4. Production Assistant (17)
5. Stage Hand (12)
6. Theater Manager (11)

After review the types, I have to say that this assessment was pretty spot on for me.

What else is in the book?

The final chapters of the book include brief summaries of each type of leadership style, an assessment sheet for discerning your own strengths and weaknesses, suggestions for teaching your team about different leadership styles and the epilogue to the production narrative that runs throughout the book.

What didn’t I like?

I always feel compelled to include this section in my reviews or people just don’t believe the disclaimer below.  So, what didn’t I like about this book?  Well, despite looking far and wide, I couldn’t find anything in the book about sarcasm or long winded explanations – both of which are included amongst my leadership gifts.  Other than that, I couldn’t really find anything I didn’t like.

What disclaimer?

This one.  I received a free copy of this book (actually two) from Larry in order to participate in this book blog tour.  While I appreciate the free copy, it did not in any way impact the contents of this review.

So, this all sounds awesome, what do I do next?

If you already own the book, go read it again.  If you don’t, you can purchase it here. .

Shouldn’t you be giving one away?

Now, that’s a good idea!  Larry actually gave me a signed copy to give away.  If you want to enter, do one of the following:

1. Leave a comment below; or
2. Send the following tweet – RT @stocksohio is giving away a free copy of Lead the Way God Made You. Find out how you can win: http://wp.me/pN5Ju-110 #kidmin #cmconnect

Winner will be drawn from all entries before 9:00 AM, Wednesday, July 14, 2010.

Will this review ever end?

Yep.  I’m done now!

Related posts:

1. DON’T HUG A GRUDGE by Donna Perugini (A Dad in the Middle Review)
2. CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS – By Jim Wideman (A Dad in the Middle Review)
3. FAITHWEAVER PARENT CLASS (A Dad in the Middle Review)

Click on the image for a larger view.

Related posts:

1. #1 – ESV Children’s Bible (Top Ten Christian Books for Kids)
2. 100 Questions For Talking to Kids

God’s Kids Worship® was created by Bob Singleton, a musical award-winning Christian dad as well as Grammy® nominated, and 4 time Dove nominated producer of music for kids. He wanted to make it easy for kids to worship God, and for grown-ups to lead them.

God’s Kids Worship® songs are produced for kids to enjoy singing, and adults to enjoy leading. The songs are sung by kids for kids, match the attention spans of kids, don’t have long introductions or guitar solos, and contain only the best, most singable parts of songs. The award-winning arrangements are all kid-friendly, with an emphasis on energy and fun.

The three CD’s are part of the set of Modern Worship Worship CDs.  The three CDs are:

• I’ll Praise You
• I Believe You
• I’ll Follow You

The CDs are designed to engage kids in and energetic live praise time.  Each CD includes 14 songs including a variety of well known modern worship songs and brand new made-for-kids songs all sung by a group a children.  Now, with a few minor exceptions, when I hear about kids’ worship music sung entirely by kids, I don’t tend to get excited.  Most such music just doesn’t suit my tastes and turns out sounding very cheesy to me.  It is not what I am interested in listening to, and that is not what I want to use in my children’s ministry on Sunday mornings.  These CDs however, are an exception to that rule.  The songs are engaging and fun to listen to and make for a great worship experience.  They are also perfect for parents to listen to with their kids in the car or at home as both are sure to enjoy the music.  In an e-mail exchange with Bob Singleton, he explained to me that he was involved in researching how to get kids to engage in music rather than just listen to it, and the single biggest factor was, “If they hear other kids singing, they will sing along.”  I am grateful that Bob and his team have found a way to accomplish that and still create music which is pleasant to listen to.

Worshipping God through music is a critical part of our relationship with God.  The Bible tells us to:

…be filled with the Spirit, addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart [Ephesians 5:18b-19]

These CDs will allow kids to engage in that conversation.  Some of my favorite moments with my kids are within the confines of my truck or van when we  role up the windows, turn up the music and sing and dance with one another.  In children’s ministry, I believe part of what we need to teach kids how to do is to authentically worship their Heavenly Father, and that means a whole lot more then just singing silly songs that they can hear anywhere.  There is nothing wrong with those songs, but worship entails so much more than that, and I think these CDs will help to fill that void.

These CDs include a mixture of well known contemporary Christian songs as well as brand new songs written entirely for kids.  They also include a variety of tempos including everything from slower songs to more upbeat music.  You can get a listing of the specific songs on these three CDs, and listen to excerpts, here: http://www.godskidsworship.com/p-297-gods-kids-worship-modern-cd-3-pack.aspx.  God’s Kids Worship® offers a variety of other products including music which is more traditional in style.

Now, here is the exciting news, God’s Kids Worship® has provided me with a free copy of this three CD set to give away to a reader of this blog.  In order to enter, you may do any, or all, of the following [the more you do, the more times you will be entered]:

1. Tweet the following: “RT @stocksohio is giving away 3 free CDs from God’s Kids Worship.  Find out how you can win: http://wp.me/pN5Ju-10v. #kidmin #freestuff”
2. Leave a brief comment below explaining why you would like to win the CDs or what you would do with them.
3. God’s Kids Worship® is all about equipping volunteers.  I recently started a new blog and twitter account dedicated to volunteers, part-time, and bi-vocational children’s ministers at Kidmin1124.  Subscribe to the Kidmin1124 RSS Feed and/or check out some of the articles.  Leave me a comment below letting me know what you think!
4. Follow @Kidmin1124 on Twitter for another chance to win.  If you do follow @Kidmin1124 for a chance to win, please let me know either by commenting below or tweeting about it with the phrase Kidmin1124 somewhere in the tweet.
5. Join the Kidmin1124 Facebook Page and leave a comment there specifically mentioning God’s Kids Worship®.

There you have it, if you enter all five ways, you multiply your chances of winning!  All entries made by Tuesday, July 6, 2010 at 9:00 AM EDT will be put in a figurative hat (more likely a random # generator), and a winner will be selected at that time.  Look for more contests related to God’s Kids Worship® later this summer.

As indicated above, I was provided a free set of these CDs for purposes of completing this review.  That did not in any way influence the contents of this review.

Related posts:

1. Jesus Came to Save Sinners (Free Worship Music for Kids)
2. Psalm 55:22 (Seeds Family Worship)
3. Phillipians 4:6-7 (Seeds Family Worship)

Related posts:

1. Praying With Kids
2. 30 Ways to Get Connected with Your Kids
3. 22 Ways to Teach Kids HOW to Think And Not Just WHAT to Think

The album features five songs including:

1. Jesus Came to Save Sinners
2. God is Good
3. God is in Charge of Everything
4. God Wants to Talk to Us
5. God Made Everything

These songs teach kids about the character and nature of God as well as his plan of salvation through the Lord Jesus Christ.  In addition to the music itself, you can download the lyrics and the chords for the songs.

These are top notch songs for Children’s Ministry and would also be great to listen to with your own kids.  I appreciate that The Village Church was willing to share these songs with the rest of us.  While you’re on their site, make sure to download their free “adult” worship album called “Village Worship.”  It is packed full with wonderful worship music as well.

Related posts:

1. GOD’S KIDS WORSHIP MODERN CD 3-PACK (A Dad in the Middle Review)
2. Get 5 Free Copies of the Jesus Storybook Bible
3. 1 Timothy 4:12 (Seeds Family Worship)

The article I wrote for this morning includes eight things you can do to redeem your daily commute and make it work for you and for God.  Let me know what you think!

Related posts:

1. Kidmin1124 – A New Perspective on Children’s Ministry
2. A Fun Idea for Kids’ Offering Time
3. Does Quality Time Always Have to Be Spiritual Time?

The new small group curriculum, which launches this fall in churches around the country, is part of Group’s FaithWeaver^® line of resources, which includes classes for all ages and has been successfully used in more than 25,000 churches nationwide since 1999. While parents are attending their small group, their children attend classes designed for them. Each week, everyone studies and discusses the same Bible point at an age-appropriate level.

“For example,” says [Christine] Yount Jones [executive editor of Children’s Ministry magazine], “one week the children might learn how they can rely on God. At the same time, the parents are taught how to help their children rely on God. Parents learn how to do this in practical ways and share ideas with other parents in their group. Now they can go home and weave faith teaching into their children’s lives throughout the week, focusing on this particular area.”

The curriculum for this fall includes topics like selfishness versus selflessness, showing kindness, seeking wisdom, faithfulness and relying on God.  Each quarter, Group will release a new similarly formatted curriculum with a new set of Bible points.  I am a big fan of much the Group Publishing puts out, and I was excited to review this new curriculum.

The “Bible Point” of the sample lesson I reviewed was “We can rely on God.”  Each lesson includes a FaithWeaver Parent Leader Guide ($9.99) and a FaithWeaver Parent Handbook ($5.29).  The Parent Class is based on the same verses and principles taught throughout the FaithWeaver series.  This puts parents on the same page of their kids thereby equipping them to be a spiritual leader in their own homes.

In addition to the Parent Leader Guide and Parent Handbook, the sample I was provided also included the teacher’s guide and student books for Pre-K & K and Grades 3 & 4 to allow me to review how the different classes work together.

The Parent Lesson is presented in the following sequence:

1. Getting Started
2. Bible Exploration
3. Weaving Faith Into Families

The Leader Guide includes additional background on the Bible lesson for that week to help leaders learn the story and spend some time reflecting with God on the lesson.

The Getting Started portion of the lesson focuses on getting parents in small groups discussing their children.  For example, in this lesson parents are divided based on the age of their kids and asked to discuss times when their kids need to rely on something and in what areas their kids most need to rely on God.  The Leader in these groups serves much more as a facilitator than a teacher.  Their principal role is to get parents talking in their small group and guide them to specific questions in the parent handbook to discuss.

The Bible Exploration section of the group encourages parents, within their small groups, to read the Bible verse and discuss it amongst themselves.  Parents are also asked to consider and discuss how the verses relate to their family.  The “Weaving Faith Into Families” section of the lesson is a “hands-on” activity driven portion of the class.  In the sample I was provided parents were blindfolded and made to rely on their partner to guide them and paired up to participate in some role playing to help them remember a method for encouraging their kids to rely on God.  The parent handbook also includes some background on the week’s lesson, discussion questions, a place for parents to take notes, faith talk starters, and suggestions for prayer starters.

I believe that the strengths of this class include:

• It equips parents to discuss the week’s lesson with their kids.
• It integrates well with the lessons for kids of all ages.
• It is highly driven by conversation and small groups which will help participants to build relationships with other parents.  The benefit of that can last well past the individual lesson.
• It forces parents to actually participate.  This is a great feature for those of us who tend to cower in the corner during small group times.
• The point of the lesson each week is clear.
• It includes a different Bible story each week for parents to discuss.

There are some weaknesses to this curriculum as well (Note: these are based on my review of one sample lesson and may not be representative of the whole curriculum):

• I thought the parent class (at least for the lesson I reviewed) was very light on Bible.  While the point is certainly Biblical, that we should rely on God, I felt like the Bible story itself seemed a little downplayed.
• While I think this curriculum will allow parents to discuss the lesson where there kids, I am not certain that it will allow parents to take their kids deeper into the lesson.

You can get more information about the whole FaithWeaver series at http://sundayschool.group.com/faithweaver.  While there, you can register to receive a free sample of the Parent Leader Guide and you can review it for yourself.

In the interest of full disclosure, I was provided a free sample copy of a sample lesson for purposes of completing this review.  That has not in way impacted the content of this review.

Related posts:

1. CONNECT WITH YOUR KIDS – By Jim Wideman (A Dad in the Middle Review)
2. TOGETHERVILLE.COM (A Dad in the Middle Review)
3. LEAD THE WAY GOD MADE YOU by LARRY SHALLENBERGER (a Dad in the Middle Review)

Some key ingredients to engaging volunteers to your children’s ministry

• Have a presentable plan
  • Have to have a vision for the Children Ministry
  • Have to document that vision
  • Hard to lead someone somewhere when they have no idea where they’re going
  • People like to be part of something where there is a goal in sight
  • Hand potential volunteers a copy of the written down vision

• Be organized
  • Rather make it too easy to volunteer than too hard
  • Want to volunteers to feel like they have a purpose
  • People want to know what is expected of them
  • A good set of directions is always helpful
  • Provide weekly lessons/scripts, service schedules
  • Timeline of service gives everybody an idea where they should be on the schedule
• Specific Job Descriptions with details about that job
  • Forces us into organization
  • Lets volunteers know what they should be doing
• Training
  • Frustrating not to know how to accomplish something you’ve been asked to do
  • Variety of ways
    • On-Site
    • Video on website
    • DVD
  • Streamline it to make it effective and efficient for all volunteers
  • Be sensitive to people’s schedules
• Develop a new volunteer process
  • What process are you using to make sure you’ve done everything when adding a new volunteer
  • Application
  • Interview
  • Background check
  • Observation period – observe an actual service
  • Training
  • Shadowing – final process before being put on the schedule
  • Make sure they know the process from the very beginning
• Let your volunteers do their job
  • Easy to step up and do their job when they’re not getting it done
  • When you do that, you send the message that they aren’t needed
  • Fight temptation to redo their job
    • Just because they didn’t do it your way doesn’t mean it’s wrong
  • Give them the tools, equip them properly, encourage them, and let them take it
  • Sometimes assign task and then leave the room
    • When you stay, there is a tendency to let you do it
• Offer Follow-Up / Continuing Training
  • Change is inevitable
  • In order to be successful, need to be continually changing
  • Must make sure your volunteers are kept in the know about changes
• Look for creative ways to communicate to your volunteers
  • On site meetings
  • Blogs
  • Podcasts
  • Might use more than one way
• Be Sensitive to Volunteer’s Needs
  • Easy to lose sight of
• Take the time to celebrate
  • Let volunteers know of their accomplishments
  • Do events that have nothing to do with Children’s Ministry
• Realize that not every volunteer will stay in your Children’s Ministry
  • Not everybody is cut out for it

How do you get people in the door?

• Have to make an investment in people at a personal level
  • Need to recruit not just announce
  • Talk to people individually
    • Express to them that they are needed
    • When people realize that they’re needed, they desire to get involved
• Be team focused rather than ministry focused
  • More than just desiring to plug people into a position
  • Want to get people plugged in where they will fit
    • What they like to do
    • Happy in what they’re doing
    • Going to do a good job
    • Everybody wins
• Campaigns can also work
  • Have current volunteers recruit as many people as they could
  • Operation serve to give current ministers a break during the summer
• Pray
  • Key factor in bringing quality volunteers

Related posts:

1. CM TeleSummit – Finding and Keeping Volunteers – Jim Wideman
2. CM TeleSummit – Leading a Core Volunteer Team – David Wakerley and Nathan McLean
3. CM TeleSummit – 10 Attributes of a Children’s Leader – Justyn Smith

• Jubilee Gang
• Evangelizing Children
  • Probability of someone being born again 35% between 5 and 12
  • Most people come to the Lord between 5 and 12
  • Current generation of kids will only produce 4% as Bible believing Christians
  • Church must do something
• We have to go where they are
• Most people don’t know what a real Christian is.
  • We have to let them know

• Five things that won’t make you a Christian
  • Church
  • Reading Bible
  • Praying
  • Mom & Dad
  • Being a good person
• Need to be straight up with this generation
• “Dream a dream so big that unless God does it it will not happen.”
• Pray and find out what God’s plan is for you
• How can I reach my community for God?
• Let go of anything that holds you back.
  • Tradition
    • Are we achieving our goals?
    • If not, how can we?
  • Religion
    • Religion is man’s way not God’s way
  • Past failures
  • Fear
    • Failure
    • What people think
    • Of what you’ve never done before
    • Fear is opposite of faith
• God is looking for people to rise up and be heroes of this generation.
• Use the cool stuff, but never sacrifice sound Biblical teaching
  • “Do we want a service or a circus?”
  • Can’t continually outdo yourself
  • We’ve gone from ministry based to entertainment based
  • Can have both!
• Three ways to raise bar spiritually while making full use of technology
  • Keeping God’s Word in our services
  • Anointing
    • We must rely on God’s ability and not ours
  • Life changing ministry
    • Are lives being changed, or are they just walking away from a cool experience
    • Do kids know God or just know about him?
• Alter Calls
  • Not the best way of doing, but we don’t want kids to fall through the cracks
  • Some parents will never pray with their kids
  • How do I do it?
    • Almost discourage people from coming forward
    • Qualify them,
      • How many people have been born again?
      • How do you know you’ve been born again?
      • Do you want to be?
    • Encourage kids to keep their eyes closed
    • If understand, and truly want it, stand up
      • Not because your neighbor does
      • Not because it’s cool
    • Don’t come down for any other reason
      • Only if understand and this is what you want for your life
    • Gather around
      • Sits down on floor with them
    • Asks why they came down.
    • Going to say a prater
      • Just because you repeat it means nothing
      • Going to talk to God.  Do you believe that?
      • God is going to change you

Related posts:

1. CM TeleSummit – Technology Tidbits – Jeremy Collins
2. The Child Timothy and His Teachers (Synopsis of Come Ye’ Children – Chapter 8)
3. CM TeleSummit – 10 Attributes of a Children’s Leader – Justyn Smith