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Ch. 6: Reworking Your Goals – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

April 26, 2009 in Shepherding A Child's Heart with 3 Comments

Shepherding A Child's HeartIn this installment of our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart,” we will look at Chapter 6 – “Reworking Your Goals.”

In this chapter, Tripp calls parents to rethink their goals for their children in light of the chief end of man – that being to glorify God and enjoy him forever.  In doing so, Tripp looks at the 7 areas addressed in the last chapter.

1. Developing Special Skills

Tripp points out that there is no biblical mandate to, nor a verse that even supports the idea of, developing our children’s self-worth.  All of the activities which we busy our kids with tend to teach them to trust in themselves.  The Bible tells us that those who trust in themselves are fools!  The concepts of self-trust and self-love that are so prevalent in our culture today turn people from God.  Furthermore, the amount of time that these activities takes up tend to become the priority for families and distract from biblical goals such as time spent reading the scriptures, prayer and more.  Rather than viewing these special skills as the goal for our kids, we should remember that the real reason for developing any skills is to be a good steward of the gifts God has given us.

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Ch. 5: Examining Your Goals – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

April 23, 2009 in Shepherding A Child's Heart with 3 Comments

Shepherding A Child's HeartIn this installment of our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart,” we will look at Chapter 5 – “Examining Your Goals.”

Tripp explains that every parent wants kids who are happy and successful.  We differ in our definitions of success, but whatever our definition is, that’s what we want for our kids.  Tripp proceeds to examine several unbiblical goals that many parents have for their kids:

1. Developing Special Skills

We get our kids involved in all kids of different activities so that they can learn different skills.  Parents must consider whether they measure their own success based on the number and different types of activities they provide their kids.  Do we judge our kids’ success based on the number of skills they develop?  Is little Johnny a failure if he’s good at soccer and basketball, but struggles at football?  It is important that we consider whether all the activities we get our kids involved in have biblical content.

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Ch. 4: You’re In Charge – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

April 19, 2009 in Shepherding A Child's Heart with 2 Comments

Shepherding A Child's HeartIn this installment of our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart,” we will look at Chapter 4 – “You’re In Charge.”

In this chapter, we look at the basis for parental authority.  Tripp begins by explain that our culture is adverse to authority – not just being under authority, but also being an authority.  In our culture, we view all authority as derived from overwhelming force or by consent.  As Tripp explains, that leaves only 2 potential responses – either rebellion or servility.  In Tripp’s words, “Our culture has no notion of intelligent, thinking persons willingly placing themselves under authority.”

When it comes to parenting, the author explains that parents often don’t understand our biblical mandate to shepherd our children.  Accordingly, the goals of parenting often become nothing more than immediate comfort and convenience.  In order to function, parents and children must understand that God calls parents to be in charge over their children and that children are called by God to obey their parents.

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Ch. 3 – Your Child’s Development: Godward Orientation – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

April 16, 2009 in Shepherding A Child's Heart with 3 Comments

Shepherding A Child's HeartIn this installment of our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart,” we will look at Chapter 3 – “Your Child’s Development: Godward Orientation”

In the last chapter, the author laid out 6 shaping influences which impact our children, but he was quick to point out that it is not shaping influences alone which determine the types of people our kids will grow up to be.   Mr. Tripp explains that regardless of the shaping influences in a child’s life, it is his Godward orientation that determines how he will react to those influences.

Mr. Tripp points to Proverbs 9:7-10 for guidance.  Here is that verse from the English Standard Version:

7 Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse,
and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury.
8 Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you;
reprove a wise man, and he will love you.
9 Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser;
teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning.
10 The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom,
and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight.

Tripp makes the observation that, “It is the fear of the Lord that makes one wise and it is wisdom that determines how he responds to correction.”

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Ch. 2 – Your Child’s Development: Shaping Influences – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

April 12, 2009 in Shepherding A Child's Heart with 3 Comments

Shepherding A Child's HeartIn our continued synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart,” we are now up to Chapter 2 – “Your Child’s Development: Shaping Influences.”

This chapter deals with the shaping influences in a child’s life.  Mr. Tripp defines shaping influences as,

“those events and circumstances in a child’s developmental years that prove to be catalysts for making him the person he is.”

Mr. Tripp explains that the person our child becomes is ultimately the product of two things:

1. His Life Experiences; and

2. How the child interacts with those experiences

Our children’s interactions with their shaping influences is dealt with in Chapter 3 of the book, and we will deal with that in the next installment.  Mr. Tripp identifies six shaping influences in our children’s lives.  He points out that most of these are “both within and outside parental control:”

1. Structure of Family Life

How is the family set up?  Is it traditional?  How many parents in the home?  How many generations?  How many kids in the family?  What is their birth order?  All of these impact our view of life when we get older.

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Ch. 1 – Getting to the Heart of Behavior – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

April 12, 2009 in Shepherding A Child's Heart with 5 Comments

Shepherding A Child's HeartWe continue our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” with a look at the first chapter titled “Getting to the Heart of Behavior.”  This chapter starts out with a reminder of what Proverbs 4:23 declares to be the truth of God:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

That Proverb becomes the basis for Chapter 1 and the rest of the book.  In Tedd Tripp’s words, “The scripture teaches that the heart is the control center for life.”

So, what does this have to do with parenting?  Tripp explains that our kids’ actions, everything they do and say, reflcts what is in their hearts.  In other words, behavior is not the end all and be all when it comes to parenting.  The fundamental issue to parenting, if we really want to help our kids, is what is going on in the heart.

I personally found the following excerpt from Chapter 1 very convicting:

“A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in the heart is not commendable; it is condemnable.  Is it not the hypocrisy that Jesus condemned in the Pharisees?  In Matthew 15, Jesus denounces the Pharisees who have honored him with their lips while their hearts were far from him.   Jesus censures them as people who wash the outside of the cup while the inside is still unclean.  Yet this is often what we do in child rearing.  We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.”

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Introduction – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

April 9, 2009 in Shepherding A Child's Heart with 4 Comments

Shepherding A Child's Heart
Several years ago, I read one of the best books on parenting which I have ever come across.  That book was Shepherding A Child’s Heart by Tedd Tripp.  I remember being impacted by the book at that time, but I never really thought about it much after that.
Since that time, my life has changed.  I’m another five years down the road in my walk with Christ (I was a relatively new Christian when I read the book the first time).  The dynamic of my family has changed as well.  My oldest son has become a teenager, my next oldest son is approaching the “tween” years, my daughter has started school (she was a baby when I read it the first time), and we have a new addition to our family.  My youngest son will be 2 this summer.  Frankly, I believe we as evangelicals have largely ignored our children as the mission field that God has blessed us with. Continue Reading…
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