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2020-02-26 to 28 Pictures: Charleston, South Carolina

One of the few upsides of having to cancel our Spring Break trip last March at the onset of the pandemic is that we are "stuck" with a rather large voucher from one of those discount airlines. Last autumn, Tricia and I spent a weekend in Savannah, Georgia and had a...

A John 3:16 Craft for Kids

John 3:16 is one of the most well known and reassuring verses in the Bible. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.John 3:16 (NIV) The following is a little craft I threw...

2020-03-01 Pictures: Lyndsey’s College Signing Day

This afternoon Lyndsey made it official, signing her letter of intent to play college basketball for the Hiram College Terriers starting next year. While she made the decision and committed to Hiram before Christmas, she has been looking forward to this day since her...

2020-02-13 Pictures: Lyndsey’s 18th Birthday

I am little behind on posting photos. These are some of my favorites from a couple of weekends ago when we got a chance to celebrate Lyndsey's 18th birthday. It's hard to believe that my little girl is officially an adult. It was nice to have the family all back...

What is DOCTRINE?

Introduction I love working with kids, and I love teaching them hard concepts in ways they can understand. To that end, for years I have been working on a dictionary of theological terms for kids and teens. In sharing those definitions, there seemed no better place to...

If You Want It Done Right

In all likelihood, you know how the phrase ends: If you want it done right, DO IT YOURSELF! This is a bit of a mantra for me, and frankly, something that I struggle with daily both in leadership and in my Christian walk.  In theory, this is easy to accept. ...

What Does God Hate?

This is the little and humble post that started it all. I happened to be reading through my Bible, and this passage impacted me so much that I posted a little blurb about it on Facebook. That was July 28, 2008, and I've been writing and sharing ever since. (Maybe...

Ch. 1 – Getting to the Heart of Behavior – Shepherding A Child’s Heart (A Synopsis)

Shepherding A Child's HeartWe continue our synopsis of Tedd Tripp’s book “Shepherding A Child’s Heart” with a look at the first chapter titled “Getting to the Heart of Behavior.”  This chapter starts out with a reminder of what Proverbs 4:23 declares to be the truth of God:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.”

That Proverb becomes the basis for Chapter 1 and the rest of the book.  In Tedd Tripp’s words, “The scripture teaches that the heart is the control center for life.”

So, what does this have to do with parenting?  Tripp explains that our kids’ actions, everything they do and say, reflcts what is in their hearts.  In other words, behavior is not the end all and be all when it comes to parenting.  The fundamental issue to parenting, if we really want to help our kids, is what is going on in the heart.

I personally found the following excerpt from Chapter 1 very convicting:

“A change in behavior that does not stem from a change in the heart is not commendable; it is condemnable.  Is it not the hypocrisy that Jesus condemned in the Pharisees?  In Matthew 15, Jesus denounces the Pharisees who have honored him with their lips while their hearts were far from him.   Jesus censures them as people who wash the outside of the cup while the inside is still unclean.  Yet this is often what we do in child rearing.  We demand changed behavior and never address the heart that drives the behavior.”

Tripp explains that, as parents, we have to require proper behavior because it is commanded by God’s law.  However, we must also ask the right questions of our children to ascertain the attitude of the heart that caused the bad behavior.  Tripp discusses the example of one child taking a toy from another child (an every day, every minute kind of occurrence in my house).  As parents, most of us would ask which kid had the toy first, and punishment becomes an issue of justice.  When we look at the heart attitude of the children, they are both guilty of being selfish.  It changes our whole outlook on the situation.

Tripp points out that, since all behavior is linked to heart attitudes, all discpline must likewise address the heart attitudes.  Tripp explains:

Your concern is to unmask your child’s sin, helping him to understand how it reflects a heart that has strayed.  That leads to the cross of Christ.”

In order to do this, it is not enough to punish the child or demand good behavior, we must, as parents, learn to engage our kids.

Personal Application

There is a quote in this chapter which I really liked.  In describing a family following the principals of this book, Tripp explains that:

“The Bible and biblical truth blew through every conversation-not with stifling heat, but like a refreshing, life-giving breath.”

I pray that for my family and for yours!

<<LAST TIME: Introduction

Ch. 2 – Your Child’s Development: Shaping Influences: NEXT TIME>>

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